Of those countries that have a holiday to celebrate paternity, the plurality of them celebrate it on the third Sunday in June. In other words, five days from today. But the dull roar of merchants suggesting gift ideas for "Dads and Grads" pretty much started the Monday after Mother's Day. The drinks industry, whose laser-like focus on males as the only half of the species that drinks, has ponied up many suggestions on what to give your dad this year.
Not wanting to feel left out, I decided that there should be an Alcolog gifting idea for dads. I promise to offer up similar suggestions next May for the mother that bucks the trend and enjoys a drink; but shy of backdating a post, I can't really offer that for Mother's Day 2007.
So the first suggestion to help figure out what to get dad is to actually look in his liquor cabinet. Are the bottles fresh? Fancy? Does it look like your dad buys stuff because of the shape of the bottle or the color of the liquid? Father's Day gifts that don't match your father's taste are likely to be re-gifted or given away at the next party. Get your dad something he'll drink.
Second, get something that you'll both drink. Part of the pleasure of giving someone alcohol is that they're probably going to open it and offer you some. Even if you finish it that night, the experience of the evening and the enjoyment of the gift is what matters. If you want to give your dad a gift that sits on a shelf, go with something safe like ties or underwear.
So armed with taste, the next big step is plunging into the local liquor store's collection and finding something. Walk through the entire store and try to match areas with the bottles you saw on the shelf. If your dad's bottles had labels peeling off and imperial volume measurements, it's better to ask for help from a manager. Preferably one who was drinking before 1980.
Liquor stores are smart in that they classify their selections fairly nicely. If you find all of your dad's bottles in the same basic shelving area, good money says that the bottles on those same shelves will probably be cool for him. Even if he opens the gift and he says, "Oh man, I can't drink this because of a college party in 1965..." he might try it again and revisit those days with you.
Next big tip: you've located his bottles, so now you tilt your head up one or two shelves. Those are your gifts for dad. They'll be more expensive, but it's a special occasion courtesy of Dick Nixon, so you might as well celebrate it.
So what if you don't have the time to do the pre-work and you're not sure what your dad likes? Go generic and get bar tools. A corkscrew or hipflask are good bets. Just don't guess - alcohol is a consumable gift, and the last thing you want to do is sift through your late father's worldly belongings to find the unopened bottle, label peeling, and contents undrinkable because it sat on a shelf for decades.